Coffee and Conversation–Take the Time to Talk. Bonus–You Benefit!

In today’s high tech world, I am “old school” and believe in the power of coffee and conversation. (I also tend to have a love-hate relationship with technology, so “old school” activities often suit me well.)

There is a strong connection between positive relationships and our health. There are many interconnected parts to wellness—mental health and physical health (to put it very broadly) affect each other. As we get older and social schedules and interactions change, this becomes more and more prominent and relevant. Now that my kids are both in their 20’s, my activities are no longer as connected to theirs. (As a consequence, I don’t interact with my kids’ friends’ parents as much as in the past.)

Several years ago I started posting messages on Facebook (yes, I did incorporate social media to try to do something that did not involve social media) stating I would be at a particular location at a specific time. If anyone wanted to join me for “Coffee and Conversation,” I would be there. Sometimes the message was posted the day before; some days it was posted just hours in advance. Usually this would take place at a Dunkin’ Donuts near my home. I could walk there when the weather was cooperative, and on cold days, I would choose to stay warm and drive. Plus, the coffee is good.

My attitude was that not everyone was ALWAYS busy. People have crazy, hectic schedules and obligations in this day and age, but, as mentioned, not everyone could be busy all the time. I also tend to have a full schedule, so if I had a bit of free time, someone else was bound to have some as well.

This personal project created some mixed emotions. There were MANY times when no one would show. As mentioned, people are busy and I knew not to take it personally, but it did sting a bit. I quickly learned to always have a good book with me. That way, the time at the coffee shop would be enjoyed whether or not I had company. Sometimes I would even arrive before the scheduled time to make sure that I could enjoy some reading either way. (Between book club, Great Decisions, and other areas of interest, there is never a lack of something to read.)

Sometimes, though, a friend DOES show up. It’s a wonderful surprise each time. We get to talk. No phone calls. No text messages. We talk. The topics may be serious or goofy, but we get the chance to reconnect. Occasionally friends who do not (yet) know each other get to meet. Bonus!!

I was inspired to write this today because I just had a “coffee and conversation” get together yesterday. My friend who came shared a great comment from her adult son—his mom was attending “friend office hours.” Although I had not stated on-line how long I would be at Dunkin’ that day, she showed up while I was there reading my book. After some time, I received a message from my cousin asking if I was still there (I looked at my phone because I felt the “ding”), and she soon after joined us.

There is so much value in just sitting and talking with family and friends. You can also go ahead and, depending upon the situation, make conversation with strangers. Why not? Take advantage of these opportunities. If the errand on the to-do list has to be postponed a bit, so be it. Building and keeping personal connections is such a valuable aspect of our health and happiness. The load of laundry or grocery shopping can wait a day.

I will continue to have my “coffee and conversation” days while still making sure that I have reading material on hand. I am also thinking that perhaps one day while the weather is nice, I will just “set up shop” on my front lawn with a table, air-pot of iced coffee and/or tea, some munchies, and some extra chairs or blankets and just see if anyone walking down the street just wants to sit and chat. We shall see.

Take the time to just talk. It does not take much. You can do it!

Feel free to share what you do to help maintain your connections with people who matter most.